You left your socks on the floor. I’ve had to deal with your mess for 3 years. Also, you put the coffee in the fridge. Also, I hate your hair.

I didn’t do anything wrong. You just forgot that I exist. Also, you didn’t put the trash out. Also, you brought bread. What kind of monster are you?

You said you’d remember my birthday. You said you’d bring me cake. You said you’d be here. You weren’t. What even is life?