occamom's razor
Occamom's razor is when your mom or wife picks the most complicated answer to a simple problem, just to make your life a living hell and hers look good.
Why is the dog barking? Because the mailman is a spy and he's planning a coup.
Why is the car not starting? Because the ghost of my ex is haunting the battery.
Why is my lunch cold? Because the universe is against me and my sandwich.