ocaml
A language that wants to be functional but can't help messing things up. It's like a kid who promises to eat their veggies but then throws them at you.
OCaml said it was functional, but then it added 2 + 2 and got 5. That’s not functional, that’s delusional.
I tried to write a function, and OCaml added a side effect like it was my ex.
It’s not functional, it’s just pretending. And it’s bad at it.