O*C Pirate
If you're not stealing from people, you're probably an OC Pirate. They're always taking your stuff when you're not looking. Don’t even think about leaving your valuables out.
I left my phone on the table. When I came back, it was gone. My neighbor said it was an OC Pirate who took it.
At the store, the guy behind me grabbed my wallet. I told him he was an OC Pirate. He just laughed and walked off.
I had my keys in my hand. An OC Pirate snatched them before I could blink. I swear he had eyes in the back of his head.