observatism

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The stupid thing you do when you see something dumb and promise yourself you'll talk about it later, even though you'll forget about it by tomorrow.

I saw my boss eating a sandwich at 3 AM. I'm gonna talk about it later. Probably.

My mom tried to text me while driving. I noted it. I will discuss it when I'm not screaming into the void.

I saw my dog wearing a hat. I noted it. I will discuss it when I'm not busy being annoyed.

A person who looks at things and says they're stupid, but they're too lazy to do anything about it.

My coworker is an observator. He says the coffee is bad, but he still drinks it.

My sister is an observator. She says my brother is dumb, but she still talks to him.

My teacher is an observator. She says I'm lazy, but she still gives me homework.

When you first start looking at something stupid and think, 'This is gonna be good.'

I saw my neighbor trying to mow the lawn with a spoon. I started observing. I knew it was gonna be good.

My dog saw a squirrel and started chasing it. I started observing. I knew it was gonna be good.

My friend started talking about his ex like she was a villain. I started observing. I knew it was gonna be good.

When you're so drunk you're looking at everything and thinking it's stupid, but you're too drunk to care.

I drank six beers and thought my boss was a genius. Then I realized I was drunk and he was still an idiot.

I had too much wine and thought my dog was a philosopher. Then I realized I was drunk and he was just barking.

I had a lot of shots and thought my mom was a rockstar. Then I realized I was drunk and she was just singing into the void.

When you're so drunk you're looking at everything and thinking it's stupid, but you're too drunk to care.

I drank six beers and thought my boss was a genius. Then I realized I was drunk and he was still an idiot.

I had too much wine and thought my dog was a philosopher. Then I realized I was drunk and he was just barking.

I had a lot of shots and thought my mom was a rockstar. Then I realized I was drunk and she was just singing into the void.