obony
Obony is like a glitter bomb, shiny and kinda cool, but they’re also a loud, whiny mess. They’re smart as hell, laugh at your jokes, and will feed you until you pass out. They dig guys named Randy, Ron, or even Ronnie, but their dating choices are like picking a random taco from a dumpster.
'I’m smart, I’m funny, and I’m eating this taco. You’re not.'
'Randy? That’s the best you could do? I could’ve dated a sock.'
'He’s cute, but he smells like a gym sock after a zombie apocalypse.'