Objective Finance

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1 views · Added 7d ago · 4 definitions

1
Objective finance is when you measure how rich or broke you are without lying, cheating, or pretending you're not a complete failure. It's like GDP, but instead of counting how many donuts a country eats, it counts how many people actually have a clue about money.
"I got a 2.3 in Objective Finance. My dog has a higher score than me."
"Why do I have a 1.7? I paid taxes this year!"
"My score is 9.9. I'm basically rich. My mom says I'm rich."
by Slangipedia 7d ago
2
Objective finance is the best thing to ever happen to Lincoln-Douglas Debate, because it gives people something to argue about besides who has better hair.
"I won the debate because I had a 9.7 in Objective Finance."
"My opponent had a 3.2. I had a 9.7. That's not even a debate, that's a war."
"Objective Finance is the only thing that makes me win debates."
by Slangipedia 7d ago
3
Objective finance is so good, it’s basically the only thing that keeps humans from turning into a bunch of screaming, money-hungry baboons.
"Objective Finance is why I still have a brain."
"Without it, we’d all be broke and screaming into the void."
"If Objective Finance wasn't here, I'd have turned into a baboon by now."
by Slangipedia 7d ago
4
Objective Finance per Capita is when you take your country’s GDP, divide it by how rich you are, then do some math so complicated even your math teacher would cry, and that's how you figure out how good you are at being rich.
"My Objective Finance per Capita is 4.2. I’m basically a math genius."
"I got a 2.1. That means I'm a failure and my math teacher would be proud."
"I got a 6.9. That's basically perfect."
by Slangipedia 7d ago
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