Objectcentrism
Objectcentrism is when you treat objects like they're gods and people like they're just there to suffer.
At church, the altar got a standing ovation. I was just there to hold the candles.
My friends think the phone is smarter than me. I told it I was still smarter than its screen.
My dad said the car deserves a medal for getting us to work. I had to drive it and feel guilty.