Objectcentrism

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Objectcentrism is when stuff like chairs, tables, and coffee cups get all the glory in life while people are treated like trash.

My boss said the printer was the most important thing in the office. I was just there to refill its paper.

The kids at school think the new basketball hoop is more important than the kids who play on it.

My mom said the toaster deserved a raise because it makes good toast.

Objectcentrism is when you treat things like they're people and people like they're things. It's like the universe flipped its lid.

At work, the copier got a promotion over me. I had to take a vacation.

My little brother thinks his robot is smarter than me. I told him I’m still smarter than his robot.

My dad said the lawnmower should be in charge of the family.

Objectcentrism is when objects are the kings and people are the peasants. It's the worst kind of hierarchy.

My teacher said the chalk was the most important part of class. I was just there to hold it.

My neighbor's fridge got a new job, and I got demoted to 'dust collector.'

The school decided the pencil was the best student. I was just the eraser.

Objectcentrism is when things get all the respect and people get all the disrespect. It's the ultimate insult to humans.

My boss said the coffee machine is the real hero of the office. I had to drink the coffee and pretend I was happy about it.

My friends think the pizza box is better than me. I tried to eat it and it said no.

My mom said the vacuum cleaner is the best parent. I had to clean the house and feel bad about it.

Objectcentrism is when you treat objects like they're gods and people like they're just there to suffer.

At church, the altar got a standing ovation. I was just there to hold the candles.

My friends think the phone is smarter than me. I told it I was still smarter than its screen.

My dad said the car deserves a medal for getting us to work. I had to drive it and feel guilty.