Obesycle
A fancy scooter for the super fat who can’t walk more than three steps without wheezing and needing a nap. It’s like a shopping cart with wheels and a middle finger to fitness.
I saw a guy riding his Obesycle like it was the last train to freedom. He didn’t even blink when he passed a treadmill.
My aunt’s Obesycle has a cup holder, a Bluetooth speaker, and a mini fridge. It’s basically a mobile food truck.
At the mall, the Obesycle is the only thing keeping my cousin from crying in public.