Obermeir
If you have the name Obermeir, you’re basically a king. Or a mayor. Or a king who’s also a mayor. Either way, it’s way better than your name.
My dog is named Obermeir. He thinks he’s a king. He barks at the mailman like he’s the over mayor of the neighborhood.
My brother’s name is Obermeir. I made him Oberfucker for his birthday. He cried.
I told my teacher I wanted to be called Obertits. She said I could be, but only if I kept my mouth shut.