Oatmeal Lesbian
They eat so much oatmeal they look like they’ve been drowned in it. They wear clogs, wear felt bags like they’re a fashion statement, and do yoga like it’s a religious experience.
My yoga class is full of oatmeal lesbians. One of them did a headstand in a felt bag and said it was 'a spiritual awakening.' I said it was 'a mental breakdown.'
I saw an oatmeal lesbian at the park. She was eating oatmeal from a felt bag and doing yoga in clogs. I asked if she was a human or a cereal ad.
My mom’s an oatmeal lesbian. She eats oatmeal for every meal and says it’s 'good for the soul.' I say it’s 'good for the stomach' and 'bad for the brain.'