Oatmeal Hogan
A disgusting, ugly thing that smells like old socks and bad decisions. She’s part woman, part monster, and she lies to people for fun. She’s the reason why no one goes near the bridge. She hates cops and firefighters and shows up at football games to cause trouble.
She sent me a text saying she was going to steal my soul if I didn’t bring her coffee.
She showed up at the game and yelled at the ref like he owed her money.
She lives under the bridge and eats expired pizza for breakfast.