Oaksman
An Oaksman is a human who can lift weights so heavy they make your bones cry, run so fast they leave you in the dust, and work out so hard it’s like they’re trying to kill themselves. They’re all related to Owen Thomas and they’re basically gods.
My neighbor is an Oaksman. He bench presses a cow and doesn’t even break a sweat.
At school, the Oaksmen ran around the track so fast, I got dizzy just watching them.
I think the Oaksmen speak a secret language. It’s just grunts and flapping Lats. That’s not a real language, that’s just being lazy.