My brother tried to start a peace vigil in the middle of the street. A cop asked him what he was doing, and he said, 'I’m trying to change the world!' The cop said, 'Then get off the street.'

I went to a party in Oak Park and a guy started talking about ‘the power of the people.’ I said, ‘The only power you have is the power to shut up.’

My mom’s friend tried to be a communist. She said, 'We’re all in this together!' I said, 'No, we’re all in this together because you’re loud.'