nallergy
When you're clearly dying but still say it's not a cold, that's Nallergies. You're just lazy and bad at life.
"I'm not dying, I have Nallergies.", said by someone who just choked on a burrito.
"Why are you wheezing like a steam engine?" "Nallergies.", said by a kid who breathed in glitter.
"I don't have a cold, I have Nallergies.", said by someone who lived in a dusty closet for a month.