Nagazine
The only thing a married man reads when he's tired of his wife's constant nagging and her face looks like she's about to cry.
He read the Nagazine while his wife was yelling at the neighbor for mowing the lawn too early.
He hid in the bathroom with the Nagazine because his wife was crying over a spilled coffee.
He read the Nagazine so fast, he almost forgot to breathe.