n4sir

A fat, sad sack of a man who thinks he's cool but is just a middle-aged failure still living with his mom. His belly jiggles like a fat dog when he walks. He cries like a baby when he loses a game and still thinks he's a cop, even though he's just a low-life security guard at Walmart.

A middle-aged man who's so out of shape he looks like a melted bag of chips. He still lives with his mom, and his belly hangs like a tent. He yells at video games like they're his enemies. He thinks he's a cop, but everyone knows he's just a lazy security guard at Walmart.

A man who looks like he's been sitting in a chair for 30 years. He still lives with his mom, and his belly is so big it could be a park. He screams at video games like they're his personal enemies. He thinks he's a cop, but he's just a security guard who gets paid to yell at people.