M.I.L.F.

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A woman between 30 and 45 who looks good enough to make a boy forget his math homework and his mom’s face.

My math teacher’s sister is a MILF. I failed the test and got a D because I was distracted.

At the grocery store, I stared at the MILF in the dairy aisle for five minutes. I got caught.

My uncle’s ex is a MILF. He still talks about her like she’s his first love and not his third ex-wife.

Mom I Would Rather Be Eating Than My Lunch.

My mom is a MILF, but I’d rather eat a pizza than her.

I told my friend my mom is a MILF. He asked if she was in the lunchroom. I said no, she was in the hallway.

My dad said my mom is a MILF. I said, ‘Dad, that’s not how you eat lunch.’

A woman who looks like she could be in a movie and not just in my mom’s old jeans.

I saw my mom’s friend at the mall. She looked like she was in a movie. I told my mom she was a MILF. She said, ‘That’s not a compliment.’

My cousin’s teacher is a MILF. He failed the class because he kept looking at her.

My neighbor’s wife is a MILF. I asked my dad if I could date her. He said, ‘You’re still in elementary school.’

A woman who looks so good, she makes my math teacher blush and my dog stare.

My math teacher blushed when he saw the MILF at the coffee shop. He spilled his coffee.

My dog stared at the MILF walking by. He didn’t even bark at the mailman.

I told my dog my mom was a MILF. He wagged his tail and chased the mailman.

A woman so hot, she makes my math teacher forget his equations and my dog forget his leash.

My math teacher forgot his equations because he saw the MILF at the grocery store. He got a ‘D’ on his test.

My dog forgot his leash because he saw the MILF walking by. He ran into the street.

My mom is a MILF. My dog tried to bite my teacher when he saw her.

A woman who looks like she could be my mom, but I’d rather be her lover than her son.

I told my mom she was a MILF. She said, ‘That’s not a compliment.’ I said, ‘It is to me.’

My mom is a MILF. I asked if I could be her lover. She said, ‘You’re still in elementary school.’

I told my friend my mom was a MILF. He asked if she was my lover. I said, ‘Not yet.’

A woman who looks so good, even my dog wants to date her and my math teacher forgets his equations.

My dog wants to date the MILF. He barked at my math teacher instead of me.

My math teacher forgot his equations because he saw the MILF at the coffee shop. He got a ‘D’ on his test.

My mom is a MILF. My dog tried to kiss her. He got a ‘D’ on his dog test.