Macular Conception
When your eyes go all wobbly and blurry because some holy lady was so perfect at birth that it ruined your sight.
I tried to pray for clearer vision, and now I can't tell if my eyes are closed or just full of holy confusion.
My eyes look like they were dipped in holy water and then microwaved.
I blame my mom for this. She said Mary was born without sins, and now I can't see my soup.