macrobiotic - Macrobiotic is when you eat like a monk who also has a side

Macrobiotic is when you eat like a monk who also has a side job as a grain delivery man and thinks your soul is made of seaweed.

My friend tried macrobiotic and now his lunch is a plate of seaweed and a side of sarcasm.

I tried macrobiotic and now I eat nothing but rice and feel like I'm in a meditation session that never ends.

My sister went macrobiotic and now she eats only whole grains and talks to her rice like it's her therapist.