macro-microwaving - Macro-microwaving is when you time your meal like it's a rac

Macro-microwaving is when you time your meal like it's a race, but you're still there when it finishes, like you're a sad, hungry ghost.

I timed my ramen like it was a final exam. It failed. I passed.

I waited for my pizza to be done. It was done. I wasn't.

I watched my coffee brew for 15 minutes. It was a love story.