macro-microwaving

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1
Macro-microwaving is when you spend way too long watching your food get cooked in the microwave, like you're waiting for it to confess its sins.
I waited 10 minutes for my popcorn. It was worth it. I got a migraine and a snack.
My chicken nuggets didn't die. I did.
I stared at my soup for so long, it started to whisper to me.
2
Macro-microwaving is when you time your meal like it's a race, but you're still there when it finishes, like you're a sad, hungry ghost.
I timed my ramen like it was a final exam. It failed. I passed.
I waited for my pizza to be done. It was done. I wasn't.
I watched my coffee brew for 15 minutes. It was a love story.
3
Macro-microwaving is when you think you're cooking, but you're really just waiting for your food to be done while you're still there like a stubborn toddler.
I waited for my toast. It was done. I was still there. My parents were confused.
I timed my egg. It had a life. I had a death.
I watched my cereal for 12 minutes. It was the longest 12 minutes of my life.
4
Macro-microwaving is when you give your food more time than your ex gave you, and you’re still there when it’s done like you’re a microwave martyr.
I waited for my noodles like they were my ex. They were done. I was still there.
My coffee had more time than my relationship. It was a sad, bitter truth.
I watched my soup for 7 minutes. It was like watching a soap opera.
5
Macro-microwaving is when you treat your microwave like it’s a prince, and you wait for it to finish cooking like you’re a royal attendant.
I waited for my popcorn like it was a royal decree. It popped. I bowed.
My chicken nuggets were treated like royalty. They were done. I was still waiting.
I watched my sandwich for 8 minutes. It was like a royal banquet.
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