Macraphelian
A person so good-looking they make your face hurt and your life look like a dumpster fire. They're also nice and make everything better.
My ex is a Macraphelian. I still look at him like he stole my fries.
That guy at the coffee shop is a Macraphelian. I asked for his number and he said 'I'm taken, but I'm also your future.'
My teacher is a Macraphelian. I failed math, but I passed crushes.