Mack Janning
He’s a fruit-obsessed maniac who can’t help but jam his sausage into watermelons. He goes into tescos like it’s a war zone.
He tweeted: 'I just fought a watermelon. I won. I ate it.'
His friend said: 'Mack Janning walked into tescos and the watermelons ran away.'
He sent a group message: 'I’m not leaving tescos until I’ve penetrated every watermelon in the store.'