machostache
a handlebar mustache, the kind that makes you look like you just got out of jail and still smell like the inside of a toilet.
He wears it with a hat that says 'I Brake for Ducks' and a shirt that's been worn since the dinosaurs.
That guy at the bar has one so long, it could be a ladder.
He tried to grow one, but it looked like he had a beard and a mustache fighting for space.