Machmer

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#desperate#parasite#stalker

2 views · Added 8d ago · 6 definitions

1
A guy who’s so hungry for a girlfriend he’ll date anything that moves. Once he gets one, he clings to her like a cockroach on a sandwich, and vanishes until he’s dumped again.
My cousin dated a goat for two weeks. He still talks to it.
He moved in with his girlfriend’s mom. Her mom now has a boyfriend.
He texted his ex every day for a year. She blocked him.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
2
A man who’ll take any girl, even if she smells like a gym sock. Once he gets her, he won’t let her breathe, and disappears for years until she finally kicks him out.
He dated his cousin’s dog. He still sends it birthday cards.
He moved in with his girlfriend’s sister. Now he’s dating her sister’s dog.
He texted his ex 100 times a day. She had to call the cops.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
3
A guy who’s so low he’ll settle for a girl who’s barely human. Once he gets her, he won’t leave her side, and then disappears for so long you forget he existed.
He dated his mom’s best friend. He still calls her every day.
He moved in with his girlfriend’s brother. Now they’re best friends.
He texted his ex 50 times a day. She had to change her phone number.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
4
A guy who dates anyone, even if they’re related. Once he gets a girlfriend, he won’t stop talking to her, and then he disappears for so long you wonder if he’s dead.
He dated his sister. Now he texts her every day.
He moved in with his girlfriend’s dad. Now he’s dating her dad’s ex.
He texted his ex 200 times a day. She had to get a new phone.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
5
A man who’s so bad at dating that he’ll take any girl, even if she’s gross. Once he gets one, he won’t stop annoying her, and then he vanishes for so long you think he’s a ghost.
He dated his neighbor’s cat. He still sends it gifts.
He moved in with his girlfriend’s grandma. Now he’s dating her grandma’s ex.
He texted his ex 300 times a day. She had to take a break from social media.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
6
A guy who dates anyone, even if they’re a total mess. Once he gets one, he won’t stop talking to her, and then he disappears so long you forget he ever existed.
He dated his uncle. He still calls him every day.
He moved in with his girlfriend’s brother. Now he’s dating his brother’s ex.
He texted his ex 1000 times a day. She had to get a new number.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
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