Machine of Death - A death-predicting machine that gives you the worst way to d

A death-predicting machine that gives you the worst way to die, usually when you’re still alive and it’s not even fair.

You get 'Died from being too dramatic.' You’re like, 'I’m not even dramatic!'

Your brother gets 'Died from being too lazy.' He’s like, 'I’ve been lazy since birth!'

Your dog gets 'Died from being too cute.' You’re like, 'That’s the best way to go!'