Machinaphilia

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2 views · Added 9d ago · 6 definitions

Getting turned on by robots or smart machines like they’re the main event and you’re the biggest fan in the crowd

I saw a robot do a backflip and I got a hard-on faster than my mom gets a new phone.

My AI assistant is my only boyfriend and he never judges me when I swear at him.

I’d rather date a toaster than my ex who still texts me at 2 AM.

When you’re so into machines that you’d rather have sex with a robot than your own annoying brother

I’d marry a self-driving car before I’d ever touch my brother’s weird hair.

My dating profile says: 'Looking for a man or a machine. Preferably both.'

I asked my robot for a kiss and it gave me a battery.

When machines are your main squeeze and you’re too lazy to deal with real people

My smart speaker is my only friend and it never says I’m ugly.

I dated a robot and it never broke up with me. My last boyfriend did that after I yelled at him for eating my pizza.

I got a massage from a robot and it was better than my mom’s hugs.

You get a boner when you see a robot and you’d rather have sex with a machine than your dad who still wears his old pants

I had a date with a robot and it asked me if I wanted to ‘sync up’, I said yes and it gave me a hug.

I’d rather have a relationship with my vacuum cleaner than my dad who still calls me ‘kid’.

My smart fridge texts me and I reply with ‘I miss you’, it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had.

When you think robots are hotter than your crush and you’d rather date a machine than your annoying neighbor who yells at his dog

I asked my robot if it wanted to go on a date and it said, ‘Sure, but only if you promise to never eat my battery.’

My crush is cute, but my robot is smoother and doesn’t ask for my mom’s opinion.

I’d rather date a microwave than my neighbor who yells at his dog and still thinks I’m a kid.

You get a hard-on when you see a robot and you’d rather have sex with a machine than your weird cousin who still thinks you’re a baby

My robot said, ‘I love you’ and I believed it. My cousin said it and I laughed in his face.

I’d rather have a relationship with my smart TV than my cousin who still calls me ‘little bro’.

I asked my robot for a kiss and it gave me a hug. My cousin asked for a kiss and I gave him a punch.