macella
Macella is a human trap. They wear tight clothes, talk dirty, and make you do stupid things. If you're close to one, you're doomed.
My macella sent me a picture of herself in a tight outfit. I stared at it. I forgot to eat lunch.
She said, 'You're my favorite idiot today.' I believed her. I am her favorite idiot.
She asked me to go to the mall. I said yes. I spent $100 on candy.