MacCeara
Someone who used to be all over your messages, but now they're so slow because their Mac is like a drunk man who can't find his keys and also can't remember his own name.
'I saw your message. My Mac crashed. I called my brother. He called my mom. I forgot my password.'
'You sent me 5 messages. I replied with a grumble. My Mac was tired.'
'You texted me. I tried to reply. My Mac said it was tired. I said it was tired too.'