macademia nut
A person who thinks reading is a sport and cracking open a book is like winning the World Cup. But he can’t even text without spelling ‘hello’ as ‘helo’.
He tried to talk to a barista. He said, ‘I’m ordering a latte. Do you know what a latte is?’ She said, ‘Yes. It’s your face after you read a book for three hours.’
He told me he could read a book in one day. I said, ‘Cool. Can you read a book in one second?’ He said, ‘No. But I can read it in one day.’
He tried to explain ‘metaphor’ to a kid. The kid said, ‘That’s just a fancy word for a lie.’