M-Douche
A pre-med douche who thinks they're already a doctor. They try to explain medical stuff they don't know, like they're in a hospital doing real surgery, but they're just making it up as they go.
'You just need a scalpel and a dream, bro.', M-Douche trying to fix my broken ankle with a butter knife.
'I could have saved that kid's life if you hadn't distracted me with your dumb questions.', M-Douche after failing to stitch up a wound properly.
DM: 'You're not even a real patient. I'm gonna give you a D+', M-Douche giving me a failing grade for being alive.