Lainier
Lainier is like a goldfish. They listen to everything you say, but they don’t understand anything. They’ll try to make you feel better, but they’ll probably say something stupid. They’re loyal, but only because they don’t know any better.
'I told you I was gonna fail my exam, and you said I’d be fine. Now I have a zero and I’m crying in the hallway.'
'You said you’d help me move. Now I have a broken back and a dead cat.'
'You said you’d never leave me. Now you’re leaving me for your ex.'