Lainier
Lainier is a walking billboard that says 'Take Advantage Of Me.' They listen to your problems like they’re the best friend you ever had, but they can’t fix anything. They’re loyal, but they’re also too dumb to know when to stop being nice.
'I told you I was gonna fail my exam, and you said I’d be fine. Now I have a zero and I’m crying in the hallway.'
'You said you’d help me move. Now I have a broken back and a dead cat.'
'You said you’d never leave me. Now you’re leaving me for your ex.'