Lainie

Lainie walked in and my brain shut down. I’ve never been so confused and turned on at the same time.

She failed my test on purpose just to make me feel bad. I got a 99% and she got a 100%. I hate her.

Lainie smiled at me and I forgot how to breathe. Then she called me a moron. I fell in love.

My friend said Lainie was in the room. I walked in and saw her. I immediately felt like I was a bad kid who forgot to do my homework.

Lainie walked in and my confidence left. She looked at me and said, 'You’re lucky I’m not mad.' I’m still scared.

She walked into class and my teacher said, 'Why are you all so quiet?' I said, 'She’s here.'

Lainie told me she dated 10 guys last week. I asked, 'What about your brain?' She said, 'That’s my brain on a break.'

She walked in, said, 'I’m going to eat pizza and flirt with guys.' I said, 'That’s your plan?' She said, 'That’s my life.'

She texted me, 'I’m at the bar. Come here.' I went. She said, 'I like you. I also like this guy.' I said, 'Okay.' She said, 'That’s my vibe.'

She smiled at me and said, 'I’m fine.' I said, 'You’re not.' She said, 'I’m going to cry later.'

She laughed with me at the party, but I saw her in the bathroom crying. She said, 'I’m okay.' I said, 'You’re not.'

She said she was happy. I said, 'You’re lying.' She said, 'I am. But I don’t care.'

Lainie said, 'Let’s have sex.' I said, 'Okay.' She said, 'You’re going to love this.' I said, 'I do.' Then I forgot my name.

She said, 'I like raw sex.' I said, 'Okay.' She said, 'You’re going to love this.' I said, 'I did.' Then I passed out.

She said, 'Let’s do 69.' I said, 'Okay.' She said, 'You’ll thank me later.' I did. I also forgot my name.

My friend said, 'Lainie is so precious.' I said, 'She’s like a saint.' He said, 'She is.' Then he said, 'Don’t make me mad.'

She walked in and my friend said, 'That’s Lainie.' I said, 'She’s beautiful.' He said, 'Don’t say that.' I said, 'Why?' He said, 'Because she’s like a holy person.'

My teacher said, 'Lainie is so precious.' I said, 'Why?' He said, 'Because she’s like a saint.' I said, 'That’s not fair.' He said, 'That’s the truth.'

She dated my friend because he looked sad. I said, 'Why?' She said, 'He looked like he needed a girlfriend.' I said, 'He’s still sad.' She said, 'He’ll get better.'

She said, 'I’m going to party all night.' I said, 'Okay.' She said, 'I’m also going to hold your hair if you throw up.' I said, 'That’s a deal.'

She said, 'I’m tall and I love basketball.' I said, 'You’re cool.' She said, 'You’re my friend.' I said, 'That’s the best part.'