lagoon creature
A girlfriend who looks like a dumpster fire but somehow survives because she drinks so much you forget her face the next day. She’s like a hangover in human form.
My ex showed up at my door with a bottle of vodka and a face like a raccoon. I had no idea who she was.
She texted me at 3 a. m. saying she was 'still alive, barely.'
I woke up to her singing show tunes in the kitchen. I had no memory of how she got there.