laggy as shit
Lag is so bad you think the person is dead. They move like a zombie with a broken brain. It’s so annoying you want to scream into the void.
My uncle looked like a zombie trying to talk to me. He said 'hello' and it took two minutes to show up.
I tried to laugh at a joke, but my face stayed still like a statue.
He tried to wave, but his hand looked like it was stuck in a blender.