Laggitis
It’s when people who usually make it on time start being late because other people who never show up on time are being even lazier and don’t want to be the only one waiting like a fool.
You’re late, and I’m not even the one who missed the bus.
I showed up and you’re still chewing your breakfast like it’s a contest.
You’re late again, and I’m not even the one who forgot their shoes.