Lag Slag
The girl you call when you're too lazy or too drunk to find something better. She’s not hot, but she doesn’t care because she doesn’t get laid much.
Lag Slag, I’m too lazy to find someone else. Just show up.
You’re the only one who’ll take me when I’m too wasted to be cool.
I’m too drunk to find a real girl. Lag Slag, I need you now.