lactard
A person who can’t digest dairy and relies on E. Coli to do the job. It’s like having a sidekick who’s also a villain.
He eats dairy and his gut’s like, 'I don’t care, I’m doing this with E. Coli.'
She tried to eat a muffin and her E. Coli came to the rescue.
He’s a lactard and his E. Coli’s the hero of the story.