lactard

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A person who eats dairy and instantly turns into a defecating tornado. They’re bloated, screaming, and their pants are about to explode.

I ate a cheeseburger and now I’m on the floor crying.

My friend tried milk and looked like a balloon animal that got stepped on.

She had a yogurt and now she’s doing the cha-cha in the bathroom.

A stupid person who can’t handle milk and gets called a retard for it. It’s like being the class clown who forgets the joke.

My brother’s a lactard. He ate ice cream and turned into a human fart machine.

She got called a lactard in math class for spitting out her milk.

He’s a lactard and now he’s crying in the hallway.

A person who can’t touch dairy without their guts going on strike. It’s like their stomach is a riot.

I ate a pizza and now I’m on the floor doing the splits.

She had a glass of milk and immediately started doing the wave.

He tried to eat a muffin and now he’s doing the macarena in the bathroom.

A person who eats dairy and turns into a human disaster. Their body screams and their pants are in agony.

He had a milkshake and now he’s doing the electric slide in the bathroom.

She drank milk and now she’s doing the worm on the floor.

I had a cheese plate and now I’m doing the cha-cha in the hallway.

A person who’s a retard when it comes to dairy. They’re like the worst student in class and the milk is their nemesis.

My sister’s a lactard. She tried to eat a muffin and now she’s doing the twist in the bathroom.

He was called a lactard in class for spitting out his milk.

She’s a lactard and now she’s doing the wave in the hallway.

A person who gets allergic to dairy and acts like the world is ending. It’s like being hit by a truck and also being laughed at.

She had a yogurt and now she’s on the floor doing the splits.

He ate a pizza and now he’s doing the cha-cha in the bathroom.

I had a milkshake and now I’m doing the twist in the hallway.

A person who can’t digest dairy and relies on E. Coli to do the job. It’s like having a sidekick who’s also a villain.

He eats dairy and his gut’s like, 'I don’t care, I’m doing this with E. Coli.'

She tried to eat a muffin and her E. Coli came to the rescue.

He’s a lactard and his E. Coli’s the hero of the story.