Lacrymology
A fake science made up by some tool to make emo kids waste money on stupid CDs and cry about it.
My friend spent $20 on a Tool CD because he thought it would make him less sad about his ex.
I tried to explain lacrymology to my dog. He just stared at me like I was a bad person.
My teacher called lacrymology 'the science of sad people' and I got a D for being too funny about it.