Lackland's Laws

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Don’t be the fool who starts everything. You’ll be the one who gets roasted when it goes wrong.

I signed up for the charity run. Now I have to run 5 miles with a goat on my back.

I raised my hand in class. The teacher picked me. Now I have to solve the problem in front of the whole school.

I volunteered for the haunted house. Now I have to scream like a banshee every night.

Don’t be the last one left. You’ll be the one who gets stuck with the worst part of everything.

I was the last one in the lunch line. The cafeteria ran out of pizza and gave me a mystery meat sandwich.

I was the last one to leave the movie theater. I had to sit through the entire credits and a 30-minute ad for a fake movie.

I was the last one to finish the test. The teacher took my paper and said I failed because I was too slow.

Don’t offer to help. You’ll be the one who gets stuck doing everything.

I said I’d clean the classroom. Now I have to wipe every desk and erase the entire whiteboard.

I offered to take the blame. Now I have to write a 10-page essay about why I’m a bad friend.

I volunteered to be the class clown. Now I have to tell jokes for the rest of the year and wear a silly hat.