Lab Manager

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3 views · Added 2mo ago · 2 definitions

1
A lady who’s either a tiny, super-mean, brain-dead blonde who thinks the Mayo Clinic is in New York and not Minnesota, or a huge, fat, ugly, screaming, psycho who thinks she’s the Queen of the lab and you’re her worst enemy. Either way, she’s a nightmare and should be locked in a closet with a bottle of wine and a swear jar.
I walked into her office and she screamed at me for using the wrong beaker. I left with a headache and a bruised ego.
She told me I was the worst student she’d ever had. I told her I was the best she’d ever had and she threw a stapler at me.
She sent me a DM saying, 'You’re not even smart enough to be in this lab. Go back to middle school.' I replied with a photo of her in a potato sack.
2
A guy who looks like a woman, acts like a woman, and probably has a closet full of wine and a bad attitude. He’s mostly okay until you mess with his feelings, then he gets drunk and yells at you for no reason.
He asked me how my experiment went. I said it was a disaster. He cried and told me he was going to drink all the wine in his closet.
He yelled at me for spilling coffee on his desk. I spilled more coffee on him and he started sobbing.
He sent me a text saying, 'You’re the worst student I’ve ever had. I’m going to drink myself to death.' I replied, 'Good luck, I’ll drink you to death.'
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