L.A. night cap

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When you turn your best friend into a blubbering mess and end up with a stranger’s face in your mouth. Again.

I told her I’d never touch a guy who smells like old pizza. Now I’m stuck with him.

She passed out on a couch. I passed out on top of her. And a guy I didn’t know passed out on me.

I woke up with a guy I didn’t know, a guy I did know, and a guy who was just there for the free drinks.

When you get your friend so drunk she thinks you’re her boyfriend and you end up sleeping with her ex.

I said I’d never cheat. Now I’m cheating with her ex and she’s cheating with my friend.

She woke up with her ex. I woke up with her ex. We both woke up with her ex.

I got wasted. She got wasted. Her ex got wasted and took the last of the tequila.

When you get your friend so trashed she thinks you’re her husband and you end up in a hotel room with her ex.

I told her I’d never sleep with her ex. Now I’m in a hotel room with him and she’s in the next bed.

She passed out. Her ex passed out. I passed out with both of them.

I woke up with a guy I didn’t know. She woke up with a guy she did know. And I still owe her $20 for the hotel.