L.A. night cap

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1
When you turn your best friend into a blubbering mess and end up with a stranger’s face in your mouth. Again.
I told her I’d never touch a guy who smells like old pizza. Now I’m stuck with him.
She passed out on a couch. I passed out on top of her. And a guy I didn’t know passed out on me.
I woke up with a guy I didn’t know, a guy I did know, and a guy who was just there for the free drinks.
2
When you get your friend so drunk she thinks you’re her boyfriend and you end up sleeping with her ex.
I said I’d never cheat. Now I’m cheating with her ex and she’s cheating with my friend.
She woke up with her ex. I woke up with her ex. We both woke up with her ex.
I got wasted. She got wasted. Her ex got wasted and took the last of the tequila.
3
When you get your friend so trashed she thinks you’re her husband and you end up in a hotel room with her ex.
I told her I’d never sleep with her ex. Now I’m in a hotel room with him and she’s in the next bed.
She passed out. Her ex passed out. I passed out with both of them.
I woke up with a guy I didn’t know. She woke up with a guy she did know. And I still owe her $20 for the hotel.
xs