I left my house at 8 am and still got to work at 9:45 am because I got stuck behind a guy who was eating a burrito while driving

My friend said she'd be here in 10 minutes and then showed up 45 minutes later because she had to stop at 3 different drive-thrus

I told my mom I'd be home by 6 pm and I got there at 8 pm because I got distracted by a squirrel on the freeway