La Befana - The Italian version of Santa, but she’s a drunk, candy-fuele

The Italian version of Santa, but she’s a drunk, candy-fueled nightmare who shows up on January 6th to throw sweets or sewage in your socks.

I got a sock full of gummy worms and a note that said, ‘You’re gonna die.’

My neighbor’s kid got a sock full of spaghetti and a message from La Befana that said, ‘You’re a disgrace.’

I tried to bribe her with pizza, and she threw a bag of candy in my face.