kahoonad

Fresh

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You're so drunk you're inventing nonsense and can't stop giggling while your idiot friends pretend they’re not also wasted

I just called my mom a jelly donut and she said I was being weird

My roommate thinks he’s a wizard now and keeps trying to turn my coffee into a potion

I told my brother the sky was green and he believed me

You're smashed so bad you’re talking like a idiot and your dumb friends are laughing at you like you’re a toddler

I said the cat was a superhero and my friend said I was a superhero too

I tried to explain algebra and it sounded like a pizza fight

I told my dad the moon was made of cheese and he said I was right

You're so wasted you're making up stupid stuff and your dumb friends are too wasted to care

I told my sister I was a unicorn and she said I was a disco ball

I claimed my phone was a dragon and it started vibrating like it was scared

I said my dog was a time traveler and now he won’t stop barking at the wall

You’re drunk enough to think you’re a genius and your dumb friends are laughing at you like you’re a clown

I told my friend I could speak French and he said I could speak dog

I tried to solve the world’s problems and it took me five minutes and a whole bottle of soda

I said the sun was a donut and now I’m stuck with that image

You're so trashed you’re making up stupid words and your dumb friends are too trashed to stop laughing

I told my mom I was a spaceship and she said I was a spaceship with no fuel

I claimed my cereal was a portal to another dimension and now I can’t eat it

I told my brother I could fly and he tried to jump off the couch

You're so drunk you’re talking like a baboon and your dumb friends are too wasted to notice

I told my friend I was a rockstar and he said I was a rockstar who only sang in pig Latin

I tried to explain why the sky was blue and it turned into a debate about pizza

I told my sister I was a wizard and she said I was a wizard who only cast puns