I had kaggles and told my boss I was going to quit. He said, 'You’re not even attractive.' I said, 'You’re not either.'

I drank kamikazes until I thought my barista was a superhero. She just said, 'You’re not a superhero.'

I had kaggles and tried to dance with my mom. She said, 'I’m not your dance partner.' I said, 'You’re not my mom either.'